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"I offered to turn the relationship upside down," I explained. "Before it was all about me; I offered to make it all about him. I demanded to be his slave." I took another drink as both moms gasped."What do you mean, 'his slave'?" my mom demanded."Just what it sounds like," I told her. "I agreed to obey him completely; I agreed to carry out his every wish. I agreed to deny him nothing, ever." I couldn't believe that I had said that in such a calm tone of voice.My mother looked at me like I was nuts. "Do you mean like a sex slave?" she asked."That's part of it," I said. "But a slave in every respect. I offered myself to him completely. If he accepted, he would own me; he would have complete control of every aspect of my life. If he told me to quit my job, I would. If he told me to have a baby, I would. If he told me to sleep with his boss so that he could get a promotion, I would. I would do anything and everything that he asked." You said 'If he accepted'," my mom said. "Did he. "The brother grimaced. He replied, 'I know he gets laid all the time."Andrew said, 'If you went into the Kalahari and asked a bushman who Andrew Adkins was, the bushman would say 'that's the guy that gets laid all the time'. Everyone in the world seems to know about my sex life."A wife said, "Yes dear, and we are all very proud."Andrew didn't want to leave the solitaire story alone. He said, "But look, I've uncovered an anomaly here in my card game. It shouldn't be working this way. I'm winning significantly fewer times than I used to. I've been trying to develop a theory about why."A wife said to me, "Andrew is very good at developing theories. Some of them are actually interesting."He gave her a look then continued. "What could be causing this phenomenon? Let's consider. A) It could be Microsoft's way of telling someone he plays solitaire too much. Once you reach a certain number of games it might be pre-programmed to lower the percentage of wins. B) It could… I just haven't been.
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