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"She smiled her very warm smile and was amazed when it evoked a spontaneous cheer. "Anyway, I came dressed for a beer party. I hope there are no serious women's libbers here who'll chew me out for the rest of the afternoon. Anyway, we've now agreed why we're all here."However, particularly these days when everyone takes himself so seriously, we couldn't just blow off the talk and start pouring the beer. Appearances must be preserved, so I have to say something. Unfortunately, Charley never told me what I was supposed to talk about, and I've been too busy getting ready for my own finals to sweat it. This bothered me for a while. Then I remembered that Charley originally offered me five thousand dollars to appear today. I now realize the smartest thing I ever did was to refuse the money and ask him to use some of it for beer."Although I didn't realize it at the time, I now know it took me off the hook. Since I'm not doing this for money, I didn't have to write a speech, so I didn't. I. And the woman she’s with actually wants to become a guy. I find it wickedly funny, and also kind of sad. I’m staying in the basement of their apartment, which they rent using money which the government of Canada sends Sharon because she’s a single mom. She doesn’t have a job. She relies exclusively on the Canadian government’s checks and her lesbian partner’s income to make ends meet. And now she’s got me. Sharon’s charging me two hundred bucks a month to stay in her basement. She’s also foul-mouthed and hot-tempered. Makes her the nicest landlord ever. 　 　 　 Folks, I don’t plan on staying long in my twisted cousin Sharon’s basement. I’m going to get my own place as soon as I can. I can’t stand that witch, her weird ‘partner’ and the shit that goes on in that house. Now, I’m not homophobic. I’m bisexual myself. I’ve dated both women and men, so I could care less if my cousin is queer. However, the way she lives, the way she treats people, all that stuns me. I can’t deal with that.
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