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”“It wasn’t fair for me to blame you. You aren’t the one that got me into this mess. You warned me, and I didn’t listen. I shouldn’t have tried to help Jen.”“You were only trying to be a good friend. You don’t deserve what happened.”“Nobody does.”“So, what did happen?”“Ash and I went over to Jen’s place to see if we could do anything. We just wanted to talk. She warned us not to come. Her parents don’t get off work until 6, so we thought we were safe. God, both you and Jen warned us, and we went anyway. We get there, and the first thing she does is apologize. We didn’t know what for, but at least we were talking. That is more than we had done in weeks.“She kept avoiding answering any of our questions. We just sat around the living room, drinking a sour orange juice. A half-hour later, there is a knock on the door. In walks Bobby and Leroy. They had this evil grin on their faces. When I stood up to leave, I felt a little dizzy. When Jen grabbed me to steady me, it felt so erotic. Every. My response was a quick peck on the cheek, the promise to call her and a prompt exit stage right. She was a sweet girl, but I was afraid the next personality would be a needy, clingy and whiney thug groupie. I’d had about enough for the day. All that being said, I think you can understand this is turning into a pretty weird adventure. I feel like the Justice League’s resident OB/GYN after looking into the legendary caverns of superheroine genitalia. I don’t know about you, but this shit doesn’t happen to me every day. I fully expected to walk into the next room to find Marvin and Wendy in a threesome with Wonder Dog, but thank God it was only a large ape-like monster with an impressive hammer. Another thing you would think is convenient is the sudden onset of unconsciousness that moves this story along between fuckfests. I would love to tell you that this particular bout of sudden sleepiness was just a quick cut to the next scene, but since it involved my head and this thing’s.
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