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'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'The priest thought long and hard and then said,'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.' The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'Catholic DogMuldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked,'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother ofJesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was. "I don't know what that means to advance it that far." She thought but didn't know what else to do.Jenny peeled off her coveralls and threw them in the back seat along with her small metric tool box. Never know when I might need them again, she thought.Jenny was apprehensive that the meeting might be important, since Sam the bank president was in charge of their mortgage. He had repossessed their cars when she would not respond to his advances. This was a little different. She wanted to dress very modestly, but her fourteen year old daughter had taken over.Dakota's perception of life was that everything could be solved with tasteful clothing and correct makeup. The life of a naive fourteen year old was so wonderful she thought, wistfully.Reluctantly, she had allowed her daughter to pick her clothes. Dakota pulled out some dark suede high heeled boots that zipped up the sides and stopped just below her knees. She had picked out a long dark gray silk dress that fit her like a glove..
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