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"First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here."And then what?" asked a woman."Who knows?" said the rabbi. "He took out his lunch so I took out mine."The Donald is elected president...On the first night he spends in the White House, he is visited by the ghost of George Washington. He asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."He says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."The next night, he is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. He asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Do not bully the people."He says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."On the third night, he is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. He asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"The ghost. “From the sounds we heard outside, it sounded like you were close. If it wasn’t so cold, we would’ve waited for you to finish!” Mike said with a smirk. “I thought you guys were going to be gone, or else I never would’ve done this…” Linda stated. “It started snowing pretty badly, so the pilot canceled the flight.” Mike replied. “I’m SO sorry, mister & Misses Carmichael! I’ll get my things and go!” Linda stated as Katie grabbed her by the hand, and sat her down. “We’re not angry, Linda! You’re a beautiful young lady who has a lot of urges. That is totally fine. I get urges too. Who am I to condemn you when I have the same feelings?” Kate asked. “But…but, it’s so hard! I’ve been shutting myself down for a year when all I wanna do is fuck anything with two legs, all for a boyfriend who I found out could care less about me! I’m a freak!” Linda whined as Kate pulled her closer. Mike sat down on the other side of the couch, and Linda instantly became aware of the fact that she was sitting.
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